Sleeping With Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend To Get Them Back
SEX. It's one of the more powerful things that brought you together, and in all likelihood it was a tremendous part of your overall relationship.
So it seems only logical; if great sex brought you together and cemented your early relationship in the first place, couldn't it be used to get your ex back?
Couldn't the physical and emotional intimacy that comes from sleeping with someone actually re-ignite the sparks of your previous relationship, taking it back to old levels of togetherness?
Well, yes and no.
Because while yes it's true, good sex will always bring you closer together, you also need to know exactly when you should be resuming sexual relations with your ex.
During the course of getting back together again, there's a time and a place to fall back into bed with each other. Nail it, and you're golden. But get intimate with your ex too soon (or wait too long and try too late), and you could be accidentally pushing your ex away for good.
And if your ex isn't ready to get back together just yet, can sex be used as a tool to bring the two of you closer together? Should you sleep with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend while still in the process of getting them back?
Again, that answer has two sides. Because while there are times when having sex with an ex might seem like the missing piece of the 'get your ex back' puzzle, it can also spell disaster if you don't know your partner's overall intentions.
• Sex too early can actually undo the progress you've made toward reversing your breakup.
• Sex too late runs the risk of your partner losing interest, or no longer seeing you in a romantic way.
That being the case, what should you do? How do you know when it's okay to start sleeping with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend again, and what's the best way to approach the situation?
Knowing When To Have Sex With Your Ex Again
During the reconciliation process, there's a time and a place for everything. There's a time to withdraw, a time to reconnect... a time to forget about the problems that broke you up and a time to talk about and solve them. And somewhere between breaking up and getting back together, you and your ex will become intimate again. The timing of this event can be very important.
First of all, you never want to push sex on your ex too early. As a girl, you might be tempted to seduce your ex boyfriend - after all, you've had sex a whole bunch of times and you're already very familiar with each other. What's one more time, especially if there's the possibility it can actually bring you together?
The problem with that approach is simple: you could easily get hurt. You might think that in sleeping with you, your ex boyfriend finally wants to get back together. In his mind however, he might be looking at the encounter as nothing more than a physical hookup.
In a guy's case, it's even harder to know when to fall back into bed with your ex girlfriend. As much as you really want such an event to happen, you need to be very sensitive to her needs. Push too early and you could drive her away. Wait too long, and you could fall back into the role of 'just a friend', where your ex girlfriend starts rejecting you in any type of romantic way.
There's a certain moment during your reconciliation when you'll feel an irresistible attraction to each other again. Keep an open mind, and try to sense when your partner is feeling it too. You'll want to start out with a kiss, and withdraw from there to assess how it went. Let your partner make the next move, before going further.
Check here for a lot more information about when to sleep with your ex again. There's a gigantic mistake you don't want to make, and avoiding that one pitfall could mean the difference between getting back with your ex or setting yourself back to square one.
Using Sex as a Tool To Get Your Ex Back
Some people use sex as a crowbar to pry their way back into a past relationship. They think that by offering their exboyfriend or exgirlfriend a no-strings attached open door policy for instant sex, that they can somehow get close enough to get them back.
In many of these cases however, these people are setting themselves up for a bit letdown. Because yes, while it feels good to be intimate with the person you're still in love with, you could easily be misinterpreting their feelings toward you, outside of the physical relationship.
This type of "Friends with Benefits" situation gives your ex all of the advantages of still being with you: the companionship, the shoulder to cry on, even the sexual aspects of your past relationship. However, your ex also gets the benefit of NOT having to answer to you. NOT having to call you the next day. NOT having to worry about what you'll say if they go out the next day and start seeing someone else.
Why? Because technically you're not dating, and you owe each other nothing in the way of monogamy.
You can easily get hurt here, because you'll think the sex means something when it really doesn't. And the worst thing in the world is to sleep with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, only to see them kissing up to someone else a few days (or even hours) later.
No-strings sex only works if you don't still have feelings. If you're still in love with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend and want them back? Taking the friends with benefits approach is only going to lead to heartache and problems.
In the end, you'll be bitter and angry. You'll start to feel used. As your ex senses these things, he or she will begin to avoid you. They might call off the sexual relationship themselves, or refuse to speak to you for a while. All of these things are bad, and they bode ill for any type of future reconciliation.
Restoring Intimacy When Your Ex Still Seems Distant
During the process of winning your ex back, getting close as a couple isn't always so cut and dry. What starts as friendly communication ultimately needs to end up as a physical relationship again, and the steps you take in between can often be confusing.
If you've had trouble getting your ex to be intimate with you again, you're not alone. This is one of the more difficult aspects of fixing a breakup; knowing when to make romantic moves as opposed to normal everyday connections.
To get 'unstuck' during this stage, you may want to check out
The Ex Back System.
Written by relationship expert Brian Bold, this original 5-step formula is designed around certain psychological triggers that both you and your ex are unaware of. By pulling on these triggers you can subconsiously get your ex to change their mind, and more importantly their heart, about where you stand with them.
The System offers quick-fix relationship strategies designed to overcome any breakup situation, and shows you the exact timing you need to be aware of when making moves in your ex's direction. Learning these timing tricks is a crucial part of getting the right reaction out of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.
When to approach your ex sexually, as well as how to transition back into a physical relationship are all covered, even in the case where that type of intimacy still seems very far away. If your ex is currently being cold and distant, you'll learn exactly what to do.
Check out the FREE audio advice offered to help get you started, and be sure to check out the more than 30 videos detailing the entire step-by-step process of winning back your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.